Jung

The past 6 years have been extremely hard. The divorce rate for parents of autistic kids is like 85 -90%. I can see why. Luckily my wife and I made it through the worst of it without ever fearing divorce. Our relationship took a beating and right now we co-exist just so we can accomplish what we need to. Our relationship and our personal goals are on hiatus for now but I look forward to the day we can function more typically as a couple and family. That may sound like it sucks but doing that saved us…we abandoned the perspective of the “unlived life” and lived in the moment…without really realizing we were doing just that…wow…we have come such a long way….very encouraging! I love my son and I have never regretted or wished for him to be anything else than who he is. Even at our lowest when the autism loomed so large and our path was unclear he still shined through …the eyes...yes the eyes are the window to the soul. It is that which kept me going. I would not change any of it…I have arrived at a place and I am on a path that makes me truly happy. I think if he was a neuro-typical kid I would not have made the strides I have. Maybe that’s not true but I have discovered something about myself and I am thankful for that and the journey that brought me to that place. I don’t need to imagine the “what if” my life took a different path because I am where I want to be.
When he was born I discovered that the meaning to MY life was becoming a parent. I don’t think it matters who our children are or what challenges they face…parenting can lift you to the highest heights and completely crush you in the next moment…nobody escapes that. I think...what I am learning now is it is all in how we choose to look at our lives. The beliefs we hold and whether we choose to be happy or not…no matter the circumstances. I am choosing to be happy and in the moment because I never know what life will bring my way. That’s my goal and if I can accomplish that then that’s all I could ever want. Living with autism…it’s not a terrible place to be and in healing my son I have begun to heal myself in so many ways and that makes me love him all the more...if that’s possible. Yes I think it is…now that I think of it…but not more…. I think I can add perspective and depth to my love for someone or something….love is limitless.